11 Myths and 5 Facts about Self-Confidence

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Myths:

You are either born with it or without. You either have self-confidence or you don't. 
False. Self-confidence is like a skill. You can develop it and conquer it. You just need to do the work.

Smart, talented, skillful, handsome or successful people are confident. 
False. Self-confidence is not based on status, gifts or looks.

People who perform well are highly self-confident. 
False. There are many people who do not relate their performance or behavior to their worth.

Comparing ourselves to others and seeing “how much more” we are, increases our self-confidence. 
False. Actually, comparing ourselves to others, regardless of how many things we have or are, feeds our fears and insecurities, all the parts of ourself that we feel as weaknesses.

Self-confidence is an essential ingredient to success. 
False. Yeah, right; all successful people are full of self-confident. Many times, it can be quite the opposite. People who lack confidence and have a low sense of self-worth may diligently pursue success to prove their worth to themselves.

People with high self-confidence are arrogant. 
False. The truth is that many people who suffer from arrogance are trying to cover their insecurities.

We will gain confidence once we have achieved x. 
False. We dare do x exactly because we feel confident doing it.

Receiving acknowledgement increases someone's confidence. 
False. Partly. Only when a person is able to acknowledge his/her own achievements, actions, talents, skills, etc, will his/her self-confidence consistently increase. 

Only self-confident people take risks. 
Not necessarily. If you are self-confident, that might not feel like such a risk, right? Risk takers are disengaged from the outcome of the action taken. They may lack self-confidence but they have a strong commitment to the purpose of their risk.

Only a big accomplishment can restore our self-confidence. 
False. Small changes, tiny steps, can make a big difference.

A low profile person is someone with low self-confidence. 
There may be cases where a low profile person also has low self-confidence, but this is definitely not a rule. A low profile person may well be a very confident introvert.

Facts:

Self-confidence inspires trust. A confident person is more likely to gain the trust of a potential client – and contract – than someone who is projecting her/his insecurity.

Confident people feel comfortable publicly sharing their achievements and their mistakes. They feel good about both their strengths and their weaknesses.

With action comes more confidence.

This is a good circle: action generates more confidence and the more confident we are the more action we take.

We are responsible for our self-confidence.

Ok, we can blame our parents for how they raised us, we can blame our teachers for how they treated us and many others, but once we become adults, the only person really responsible for our self-confidence is ourself and only ourself.

You cannot have self-confidence without self-love. 

You want to feel confident? Love yourself!